https://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/2018/10/08/your-personal-hero-quest

Your Personal

Hero Quest

HOW TO SOLVE THE DOING VS. BEING PARADOX AND LIVE MORE IN FLOW

A bout 4,000 years ago, young Sumerians dutifully copied wedge-shaped symbols that

had been pressed into clay tablets with a reed stylus. The tablets they copied

recorded a poem about King Gilgamesh, a tyrant who ruled Uruk in what is now Iraq. The poem is about the king’s quests for immortality through great deeds, but it’s ultimately about transfor- mation: a man who nally conquered his own inner fear of not being good enough and gained the strength to be. The “Tyrant King” grew to be called “The King Who Saw the Deep.”

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BY ERIK SEAN LARSON

Even 4,000 years ago the poem was ancient. Something about the Epic of Gilgamesh had kept the poem alive around cooking res for a thousand years before it was rst pressed into clay. Then, as Andrew George noted in his excellent modern translation, it became a common practice for Sumerian and Akkadian schoolchildren to press this epic story into their own minds as they practiced cuneiform. It was the unearthing of these ancient homework assignments in 1853 that allowed new generations to rediscover this ancient quest for wisdom, compassion, and kindness.

Nowadays, the Epic of Gilgamesh is known as the rst recorded Hero Quest. Like Dante’s Divine Comedy and Star Wars, these timeless quests are ultimately as much about confronting our own ego shadow as they are about slaying monsters. That’s not to say we ever get rid of our shadow—or should even try. As Carl Jung famously wrote, “How can I be substantial if I do not cast a shadow? I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole.” Instead, these great tales remind us that, like Gilgamesh, each of us must befriend our own version of the fear that we are not good enough and become more fully alive.

“The great paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change, ” wrote psychologist Carl Rogers.

YOUR HERO’S QUEST MAP

On all great Hero Quests, the most important moment comes not when the hero slays the monster, but rather when the hero honors his or her strengths, virtues, and fears. This map was designed to unleash your hero mind and to honor your personal quest to create a more joyful and unbridled future for yourself and others. And, like all great Hero Quests, it follows a basic path:

In other words, to allow oneself to be is to get unstuck and feel the ow. Our consciousness expands and we can do more—if that is what we choose. Indeed, because of its simple power, the Hero Quest path has become the central tool I use in my work as a therapist and coach to help guide others toward more joyful and creative life paths.

I encourage you to honor your own Hero Quest by explor- ing this simpli ed version of what is typically a weekend workshop. The main point here is not to try to slay monsters “out there” but rather to take the time to sit with the chat- tering voice of your ego shadow. And when you are feeling those old fears, talk them down with your heroic inner voice, which states, “I am free to be and create as I am.” And then simply notice whether you have cut the edge o an old irrational fear—or maybe even slayed one of those old inner monsters that have held back your joy and creativity and compassion.

Erik Sean Larson, MA, LMSW is an existential psychotherapist and conscious leadership expert. He lives in Northern Michigan on a 40-acre farm, where he shares Hero Quest adventures with his wife, their two children, a few chickens and a smart dog.

1. WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Joy has many facets, and each can be a marker for living in ow.Highlight your most potent Facet of Joy, which you will rely on in your quest.

Circle your least potent Facet of Joy, the lack of which brings a wince or triggers regret. You’ll need to strengthen this one on your quest.

Elevated Joy Facet to Maintain

(e.g., Radiant honoring or exultation)

Low Joy Facet to Strengthen

(Bliss or enchantment)

2. ACCEPT THE CALL TO EXPLORE AND CREATE

Because this quest is internal, the call is from where you
are right now. Choose a personal, relationship, or work goal— or all three.

Personal Goal

(Move beyond old self limitations)

Relationship Goal

(Increase fun & Joy)

Work Goal

(Go for the promotion)
(A “One Word Why” is what it will feel like when you achieve your goal.)

Obstacle/Monster

(Listening to naysayers)

Obstacle/Monster

(Getting pulled into old arguments)

Obstacle/Monster

One Word Why

(EMPOWERED)

One Word Why

(JOY or LOVE or FUN)

One Word Why

(Self-doubt)

(ADVENTUROUS)

These timeless quests are ultimately as much about confronting our own ego shadow as they are about slaying monsters.

3.

Who How

Who Who Who

GATHER YOUR HELPERS

is helping you or will help you on you quest? will you enlist their aid?

How How How

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In the past week or so, I experienced the following facets of joy:

1

2

3

4

5

PLEASURE: Experiencing any of the 5 bodily senses: taste, touch, sound, vision, aroma





 

RELIEF: Reduced fear or stress over pain or potential su ering





 

EXCITEMENT: Doing something new or challenging





 

EXULTATION: Accomplishing a di cult or daring task





 

AMUSEMENT: From a giggle to a belly laugh





 

CONTENTMENT: A calm, kind of inner satisfaction





 

BLISS: Not thinking about my worries, my lists, my shoulds/ should not's





 

ELEVATION: Witnessing or doing an act of kindness, play, creativity, or compassion





 

RADIANT HONORING:

Celebrating another's journey or success or being





 

UNHEALTHY JUBILATION OR SCHADENFREUDE: Relishing in other's su ering or laughing at their expense





 

GRATITUDE: Appreciation of a sel ess act or circumstance from which I bene t





 

REJOICING: Honoring and being deeply moved by another's happiness or experience





 

ENCHANTMENT: A lightness and celebratory kind of contentment





 

SPIRITUAL RADIANCE: A serene joy born from deep well-being, giving to others and compassion





 

Adapted from research of Paul Ekman, Matthieu Ricard, and The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams

NEVER RARELY SOMETIMES OFTEN

ALMOST CONSTANT

The Return Home

7

Accept the Call to Explore and Create

Your 3 Great Deeds

6

2

Where Are You Now?

8

Where Are You Now?

1

Assess Your Magical Weapons

4

Gather Your Helpers

3

Visit the Oracle

5

Re ect on what you are currently trying to ‘win’ in life and the primary ego behavior traits you are using to do so. Then chart out your current approach on the Magical Weapons Map by marking a point in each quadrant to get a visual of your quest tendencies. Contemplate:

The strengths you gain from your Magical Weapons Usage
(e.g., Thinkers may be problem solvers; Doers may work hard)

The core values that guide your strengths

(Doers may value grit; Feelers may value love)

The payo and positive bene ts of your strenths

(Persuaders may build consensus; Feelers may have fun)

Now note any weaknesses that have been revealed from your points on the Magical Weapons Map. (These typically point toward stu in your shadow.) Contemplate:

1 2

MY MAGICAL WEAPONS TOP 2 WEAKNESSES (Persuader: talking vs listening OR Doer: burn out self & others)

MY MAGICAL WEAPONS

TOP 2 STRENGTHS

(Feeler: love-em up OR Thinker: nd the answer)

Weaknesses or detracting behaviors from
your Magical Weapons usage
(Feelers may not say NO OR Persuaders may not really listen to others)

The fearful or worrying thoughts that trigger your detracting behaviors
(Hate con ict, believe I can’t do it, fear of making a mistake)

The costs and negative aspects of your shadow self behaviors
(Relationship troubles, health e ects, heavier burden, inaction)

1 2

4. ASSESS YOUR MAGICAL WEAPONS A “weapon” is a tool for winning something, and early on

we arm our egos with a special set of tools to win in the quest of life. These sets of “weapons” fall into four broad ego behavioral trait categories that we can call Thinkers, Doers, Feelers, and Persuaders. Our choice is not conscious and yet it determines both how we approach a quest and what we hope to gain from it.

Thinkers win when they gure out the answer/truth Doers win when the list is done perfectly
Feelers win when love is accepted and returned Persuaders win when opinions/ideas are heard and accepted

We tend to become specialists with a particular set of “weapons” to keep us safe and successful. The problem is that we tend to overuse the set, and so we get lazy—which is another way of saying we tend to get stuck in our shadow mind, which keeps us from developing the other tools that would help us become more present and more fully alive.

One payo of the Hero Quest is to move our preferred “weapon” type from the shadow mind to the ow mind (e.g., for Doers the Quest payo is limiting Tyrant actions and opening up Creator actions). In doing so, we open up our ability to use the other tools as well (e.g., the Doer adds some Feeler skills, like empathy). In this way we open up our Whole Mind Living, which is another way of saying we become more present.

MAGICAL WEAPONS MAP

5. VISITTHEORACLE

Once you have recognized the strengths and weaknesses of your magical weapons, it’s time to visit the Oracle for two sparks of real magic.

First the Oracle bestows the gift of naming your shadow. Choosing a name acknowledges that your shadow exists, that it will never go away—and that it is not sup- posed to. Think of your shadow as your Ego Trickster. Being present means that you are alert to your shadow and ready for whatever tricks it will throw your way. The gift is to iden- tify the core belief/fear that animates your weakness and detracting behaviors.

EGO TRICKSTER

Common Core Shadow Fears/Beliefs

1. Fear of not being good enough
2. Fear of not being lovable or loving 3. Fear of not being controlled
4 Fear of being out of control

Contemplate the root of your fears that feels like the source and write it down. It may help to give your shadow the name of a character in a book or movie who best repre- sents your own shadow. That way, you can literally greet her/him by name.

Second, the Oracle confers the Gift of Insight in the form or a special kind of mantra or a rmation that is actually a new aspirational core belief—a “mind hack” that increases your probability for both deeper success and joy.

The Gift of Insight comes from contemplating your steps thus far: Where you are? What is your quest? Who is with you? What are the strengths of your magical weapons? With all that in mind, choose the magical words that will transform your quest. Critical here is that your Gift of Insight combines both Being and Doing—and could be
as simple as “I am Content + Creating.” The goal of a new aspirational belief is to reduce the fear that has blocked your compassion for yourself and others—and thus blocks your ow.

Seeker

Flow Self

THINKER

Shadow Self

Cynic Manipulator

Shadow Self

PERSUADER

Flow Self

Sage

I Am Not Enough Yet . . .

Creator

Flow Self

DOER

Shadow Self

Tyrant Codependent

Shadow Self

FEELER

Flow Self

Altruist

THE ORACLE REVEALS . . .

MY CORE SHADOW FEAR/BELIEF IS:

(e.g., Fear of not being good enough)

MY EGO TRICKSTER’S NAME IS:

MY GIFT OF INSIGHT IS: I AM

+

(I am Content + Creating ) BEING + DOING

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QUEST MAGICAL WEAPONS MAP USAGE EXAMPLE

BEING Words

Free to be blissful Content Empowered Rock star

Loving Playful ME Joyful Potential

DOING Words

Creating Exalted Exploring Teaching Learning
Loving Problem-solving Seeking

Giving

Each of us must befriend our own version of the fear that we are not good enough and become more fully alive.

6. YOUR 3 GREAT DEEDS

Now that you have enlisted support and are armed and ready with your Gift of Insight, it is time for the real adventures to begin! Use your Gift of Insight like a mantra to increase ow in your creativity, connection and compassion.

“Iamfreetobeand create as I am.”

GREAT DEED #3

THE POWER OF PRESENCE

Your Current State of Presence

UNFORGIVING 1 2 3 4 5 COMPASSION

Others who need mycompassion and presence now with Gift of Insight
(Spouse, children, brother, partner, coworker)

Others who need my tough love and presence now with Gift of Insight
(Spouse, children, brother, partner, coworker)

New forgiveness I want to o er myself and/or
another with Gift of Insight
(Myself for past fears of failure; parent for past unavailability or addiction)

GREAT DEED #1

EXPLORING THE UNKNOWN

Your Current State of Creativity

STUCKNESS 1 2 3 4 5 CREATIVITY

Current creative stuckness looks like

(e.g., Fear of taking risk, putting out res, lack of discipline)

What new creative openness looks like with Gift of Insight

(Start small, overcome negativity, being honest with fears)

Core trait DOING priorities to make it happen: (Be more assertive, schedule creative time)

1 2

7. THE RETURN HOME
Celebrate your new creativity, connections, and presence

at your triumphant return. True love & gratitude looks like

(Being honest, present & saying thank you)

Villagers celebrating looks like

(Unplugged at home, fun, speaking truth to power)

8. WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Congratulations! You have now completed a quest cycle. The best guide for knowing where you are now—and for anchoring where you’re going next—is in reference to your journey thus far.

Old hero name (Super Anxious Analyzer) New hero name (Captain Creative)
New theme song ( Free Your Mind, En Vogue)

New talisman & Image (Angry Birds gure & beach scene) Renewed mindfulness habits (10 minute meditation each morning)

GREAT DEED #2

BEING COURAGEOUSLY VULNERABLE

Your Current State of Connection

ISOLATION 1 2 3 4 5 CONNECTION

What disconnection currently looks like & costs

(Same old arguments, missing special events, not present)

What new deeper connection looks like & its rewards with Gift of Insight
(Being present, breathing, smiling, sharing time)

Core value BEING priorities to make it happen: (Courage, play, acceptance)

1 2

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