Being a parent of ten years now, one would think I could be considered a seasoned expert at this point. According to research and what Malcolm Gladwell captured in his award winning book, Outliers, one is considered an expert at something after practicing/doing a particular task, or activity, for at least ten thousand hours. This is aptly referred to as the 10,000 Hour Rule.

They say parenting is a twenty-four hour a day job, therefore my wife and I should hit our ten thousand hours in just over a year of parenting. Taking into consideration the basic principles of the10,000 Hour Rule this makes sense, right? Not really! (When I initially wrote this down, it sure felt like I was on to something earth shattering.)

After considerable thought about this phenomena, wondering why parents are constantly striving to become experts at parenting, it began to make sense. No matter how hard we try to master parenthood, figuring out our own children is like solving a Rubik’s Cube of life. It looks easy at first glance, but once you start twisting and turning, you begin to see the colors match on one side, while another side is in complete disarray.

When we feel as though we have mastered it, another year has passed us by. Our children are now a year older and we begin our learning all over again.

After what I thought was something novel and potentially useful for parents, it appears parenting is the one thing that we never stop doing and do not truly become ‘experts’ at. No matter how often we feel like I’ve got this parenting thing down, there is always that one thing our child says or does which brings us back to square one, learning for the first time (once again).

Into my tenth year of parenting I have come to realize that I may never become an expert at parenting, but I do know that I will do my best to…

  • Listen – I truly believe our children are here to teach us. I will listen to what they say, not what I want to hear.
  • Love – Love them for who they truly are. They are sending me signs every hour of every day to accept them as they are.
  • Let go – Oftentimes it seems the more we hold onto something, the more it wants to be free.
  • Learn – My parenting skills are based on what I learned growing up. My children are growing up in a completely different era and what I learned may not exactly be what they need to know. I learn from my daughters more often than I’d like to admit.

I will do my best to listen to them and love them. Most of all, I will learn to be brave enough to let go of my past learning, let go of what I ‘think’ is best for them,listen to their true voice and learn together with them.

Love and Learning!