As we experience the unusual during the pandemic, as a life coach the one universal thing I hear from many is they are truly seeking to assess where they are in the pursuit of their dreams and how to position to make their heart felt desires reality. Until we self-asses to determine where we are, how we got there, and what actions are needed to get unstuck to move forward, nothing will change and hopes, desires, and dreams will continue to fall short of what we desire. 

When life is not going in the direction we hope for or when our efforts to push a dream forward seem to hit a brick wall, then it’s the time to turn your sad situation into a S.A.D. moment – Stop the madness, Assess why you are where you are, and Decide what positive action is needed to change the situation. Change takes strategy, time, dedication, and committed action on your part if you want to be better and do better. 

In this article, I outline the first step that is critical in beginning the transformational journey to reclaim the authentic you.  Before any change process can begin for personal or professional growth, you must first face the ghosts of your past, so you can deal with them and position to live your best life now.  The following steps are crucial in facing your issues to be empowered to live your destiny.

Do a Self-Analysis: Before any change process can begin, we must first stop the busyness of life and think about why you are here.  What are you thought processes? Are you the glass half full or the glass half empty thinker? If negativity is second nature, why? What happened to undermine your capacity to see that opportunities are constantly before us and you can do whatever you desire to do, if your outlook on life and you change? These questions must be answered in order to reclaim the you God made you to be.

Embrace Your Weaknesses: Most people don't like to face their weaknesses and flaws because most people see them as detrimental. But you are only human, and you will find that your sense of insecurity and anxiety represents feelings from the past that can be healed. You must realize that if you can embrace your weaknesses as opportunities to grow, you can be more powerful than you ever imagine. Use your perceived weak areas as stepping-stones to grow into someone who is a victorious overcomer. It will take work, but you can do it.

Deal with Old Wounds:  If you have active emotional triggers or residue of negative emotions, you may find that you get easily overwhelmed with feelings of resentment, hurt, anger, jealousy, and bitterness. Before you can live your best life, those negative emotions must be dealt with. Beneath the scars, wounds can still feel very fresh. These unhealed wounds can result in negative thoughts and subconscious drivers that result in feelings of unworthiness, lack of self-esteem, or insufficiency. Realize that you may not be able to do this work alone. Seek help if needed. Either find someone who has walked the path successfully who can empathize with you or seek Christian coach or counselor. Whatever it takes, take time to deal with old wounds and heal.

Process Through to Forgiveness: You shouldn't jump too quickly into forgiveness. It's easy to mouth forgiveness of old hurt, when, in fact, all you are doing is seeking is escape the pain and not face the source of the hurt. Until you process through your pain and heal, you will never truly be able to forgive.  First, accept that whatever happened… happened. Face the pain of whatever it was, and truly acknowledge it. Realize that the person who may have hurt you, is only human and should not be given the amount of control over your life that unforgiveness grants. Process through the pain, let go of the residue, and then truly forgive. HINT HINT – when you can think about the person that hurt you and pray earnestly for their place of brokenness, then you have forgiven.  

Accept Where You Are:  Before you can move into a new beginning, you must accept where you are without beating yourself up, putting yourself down, or living in regret. The more you beat yourself up for where you are, the longer it will take you to get to your place of peace and purpose. Embrace your now and love the moment you’re in right now.  Begin the journey of realizing that you are so much more than anything that happened in your past. Ephesians 2:10 tells you that you are a one-of-a-kind entity, born for great things that God assigned to you before you were born. Don’t let your mind get you stuck in the pain of your past or in a posture of regret for past choices or decisions. Learn from them; grow from them; then decide to move past them.

In the next article, we’ll talk about how to set reasonable expectations and achievable goals as you position to reclaim the authentic you and live your best life now.