A couple of years ago I attended Eben Pagan's Altitude gathering (of mostly men) where there was much talk from all the top marketers about not only getting into the head of your prospective customer but actually FEELING their emotions and experiencing the thought processes going on in their heads and the events going on their lives.  The general consensus was that if you can do that and become ONE and in sync with your customer/prospect you will strike gold.  Because they perceive that you fully understand their needs, wants, desires, hopes and intentions, you will have a better shot at getting their attention and their business.

What was fascinating to me is to observe male marketers who were SO caught up in their own products, services, websites, joint venture prospects, etc. that when asked had a tough time articulating or demonstrating the feelings and emotions that their customers/prospects had.  They were so disconnected from the human and emotional side of their customers/prospects they realized that they missed opportunities to get to know and build a relationship with their customers/prospects.

I find that many marketers, business owners and entrepreneurs are so caught up in their OWN THING that when they interact with other people it's all about them and their needs and wants and just getting the transaction done.  An example is meeting a fellow marketer at an event for the first time and right off the bat asking them to do a joint venture so you can both make some money.  No relationship built, no connection made, and no insights on the profile of the people on their list or even the person you are talking to.  Very short-sighted! 

Another example is going to a meeting to simply see what you can get from others that night and not what relationships can be built or what you can give or share with others.  Why not get to know the other people in the room by asking questions and showing interest in them?  When I go to business events I personally make it a practice to ask lots of questions about the other party's business AND their personal lives and interests.  And since people LOVE to talk about themselves and are tuned in to Station WIIFM (What's In It For Me), I learn a lot about them and their goals, dreams and interests just by LISTENING.  Interestingly enough, most people never learn anything about me because they are so busy talking about themselves, they don't ask - but I don't mind because I do love to listen and learn!  :

But I digress….My point is that there IS a human being and a personality standing before you and we really need to consciously make an effort to get to know that person in order to make a better connection.  No, it's not only about how many cards you can get, getting access to their list, and how many joint ventures you can line up.  It's about building long-term relationships and showing empathy and concern for your customers, prospects and potential joint venture partners.  So many of us practice hit and run marketing and miss out on building long-term valuable relationships because we don't take the time to show interest and empathy.

The final observation I will make is that you must KNOW that you REALLY don't know what's going on in people's lives that is affecting the way they are conducting business - well or poorly.  Perhaps they are having family crises, financial troubles, health problems or a myriad of other positive or negative life issues that is impacting their business and personal lives.  I think that as an empathetic marketer/business owner it's a priceless gesture to simply ask "How ARE You Doing" and REALLY CARE to know.  Making that personal connection will indeed go a long way.  Why do you think that especially in these times personal (handwritten) notes, personal messages, personal attention and personal gifts are such a hit?  Maya Angelou said:  "People will forget what you said.  People will forget what you did.  But People will never forget how you made them feel."